This “Christian Growth Chart” visually illustrates the growth of Christians in different stages and categories. While you might look at the “NEW Christians” category and think that we should all be like this Christian who is spiritually skyrocketing, let me give you several laws of Christian growth that explain why this NEW Christian’s growth rate is unsustainable.
Law #1—The Law of Relationships
When you become a Christian, you must accept the fact that your closest relationships are going to be affected one way or another. Jesus taught this law very openly and clearly in Luke 12:49-53. Read all those verses, but especially v. 52, “For from now on five in one house will be divided: three against two, and two against three.” Unfortunately, many relationships will be fractured or broken. You will either remove yourself from bad environments and this will strain the relationships you had with the friends/family in those bad environments, or those friends/family will remove themselves from you, because they do not understand and appreciate your new affections, the intensity you have for these new affections, and the change in your behavior that results.
Law #2—The Law of Self-Isolation
What makes things doubly worse for the new Christian who is experiencing a fracturing and breaking of the closest relationship in his life (friends/family) is that he then begins to self-isolate from those new people in his life (Christians) who can help them emotionally, physically, and spiritually to grow and deal with life’s problems. This self-isolation occurs, not because they don’t actually want to make friends and become close with their new brothers and sisters in Christ. It occurs because they don’t feel good enough. We talk about the bad rubbing off on the good, and these new Christians who have bad habits don’t want their bad to rub off on their good brothers and sisters in Christ. Or it may not even be that. It may be the next law we will talk about that is the obstacle. But what this new Christian actually needs is association with good influences, trusting that good company will actually produce good habits within them. The converse of Gal. 5:9 must be true, which says, “A little leaven leavens the whole lump.” In that case, a lot of good leaven (influence) and good habits can and will leaven a little lump that wants to be leavened. Unfortunately, it does take some time to be integrated into a new group of people and this “rubbing off of good” to occur. While you are being patient, just remember that it takes more than time. If there is not concerted effort put forth by the new Christian and the new church family both, the new Christian will continue to self-isolate.
Law #3—The Law of Comparison
Sometimes the problem is not that the new Christian is purposely self-isolating. Sometimes they distance themselves because they are comparing themselves to other Christians. They may be doing this comparison over social media, or it may be taking place at church. In the minds of this new Christian, these new brothers and sisters in the church, especially the ones who “grew up in the church,” are built up to be more than they really are. And then again, maybe there are some of these brothers and sisters who really are mature and seem to always be on fire. By comparison, this new Christian feels like a failure. The secret to this intellectual pitfall is this: don’t compare your chapter 1 with someone else’s chapter 20. And another one: don’t judge a book by its cover. Many of your new brothers and sisters in Christ aren’t what they appear to be on the surface at church when they have their mask on. Some of them may be clean on the outside but full of dead bones on the inside (Matt. 23:27). Some of them “immediately [received the word] with joy” (Matt. 13:20) when they first started obeying the gospel, but they fizzled out and are going through the spiritual motions on cruise control now. You really don’t know until you get to know your new brothers and sisters. During this process, know that even the strongest of Christians deal with discouragement and temptations, and they sin.
Law #4—The Law of Habits
The new Christian becomes discouraged when their bad habits don’t disappear immediately. They were promised that if they became a Christian, they would be blessed, their life would be transformed, and every day would be a holiday! But three months in they are still defeated by the same temptations that plagued them before they were regenerated. This is caused by false expectations. Either no one warned the new Christian that they were about to experience the most intense spiritual struggle of their life after coming out of the water, or they were told this, but they weren’t listening due to the butterflies of the honeymoon stage of new birth.
Law #5—The Law of Dating Problems
If the new Christian is unmarried and still in the dating game, they are about to experience a rude awakening here as well. They will soon experience that they can’t keep dating the same kinds of guys/girls that they did before they became a Christian. At least, they quickly learn that if they keep doing this it will kill them spiritually. And so they try to keep going about it the same way they always have, but eventually they wake up, and their dating pool shrinks significantly. They become lonely immediately. They are depressed as a result. This comes with much emotional instability. You might even think that no Christian girl/guy would want you because of your spiritual immaturity and where you are in your Christian growth. But again, there are more false assumptions here that are not true.
Law #6—The Law of Adrenaline
For the first few months of being a Christian, you’re running on adrenaline. We call this zeal. The problem with adrenaline, is that it eventually wears off. And the new Christian has to be prepared for when it does wear off. If they aren’t prepared, then the same things that tempted them before they became a Christian will come right back. If they didn’t destroy those temptations at the root, they’ll be back. When they do come back, combined with all the discouragement from the previous laws of growth, the new Christian is overwhelmed, and they start to question continuing on. They might start to think that they’re a lost cause. Just remember that, although Paul compares the Christian life to a race (1 Cor. 9:24), he never said it was a sprint. Prepare for a marathon, and realize that you can’t sprint the first 5 years.
Takeaway
How do you overcome these obstacles? First, you need to know they exist. Just knowing what to expect is therapeutic when reality does set in. Second, you have to have a committed NEW Christian who will allow His new brothers and sisters to support him/her. Third, you have to have a group of brothers and sisters who will empathize with this NEW Christian and actually support them. “Bear one another’s burdens” ( Gal 6:2) is a two way command with lots of room for application. The questions to ask are 1) “How do I as a new Christian help other people know my burdens and help me bear them?” and 2) “How do I get to know the new Christian and make them feel comfortable enough to let me help bear their burdens?” Now let’s get to work!
