Last week I had the awkward privilege of teaching sex ed to four teenage boys. Put that down in the “Things I Didn’t Think I Would Do as a Preacher” column. It actually went very well when all was said and done. The young men behaved very maturely, and we were able to talk through some relevant scriptures in the process. The main text we discussed was Proverbs 5, the same text I would like to share with you now. In this chapter, an aged King Solomon shares wisdom gained through experience with his son (likely Rehoboam). Solomon’s advice is actually a warning against what he calls the immoral woman.
Preliminary Observations
Proverbs and Ecclesiastes are interesting to read after having read the histories of Solomon in 1 Kings and 2 Chronicles. The earlier histories end the story of the world’s most decorated king on a bitter note, especially 1 Kings 11. That’s where the Bible tells us how Solomon, “loved many foreign women,” (v. 1) had 700 wives, 300 concubines, and as a result he was influenced to worship false gods. All I can hear when reading those words is the *Wah, Wah, Wahhhhhhh…* sound effect from movies when something disappointing happens. Having been with 1,000+ women, I would venture to say that Solomon, out of everyone in the whole world, was most qualified to speak on what he calls in Proverbs– the immoral woman.
Furthermore, it would appear that Solomon learned a thing or two from sleeping with all those women. We learn as much from his advice in Proverbs 5:18, “Rejoice with the wife of your youth.” I might break down v. 18 and its companion verses in a later article, but know for now that if Ole King Solly (I’ll call him Solly from now on) learned anything from his mistakes, it was this: God’s plan for marriage was one man and one woman in a closed and committed relationship. But as I have already mentioned, it took him a lot of mistakes to learn this ultimate truth.
The Immoral Woman
Now, let’s crack the code and figure out who this immoral woman is that Solly speaks about so frequently in the book of Proverbs. Proverbs has a lot to say about this lady of the night (see 2:16-19; 5:3-20; 6:24-35; 7:5-27; 22:14; 23:27-28; 29:3; 30:20). Sometimes she is called by other names in the NKJV such as the harlot (23:27) and the adulterous woman (30:20). But in Proverbs 5 Solly introduces her like this, “My son, pay attention to my wisdom; lend your ear to my understanding, that you may preserve discretion, and your lips may keep knowledge. For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil,” (v. 1-3). He draws attention to her lips for two reasons: lips are a literal object of seduction and it is with the lips that the immoral woman speaks words that weaken the young man so he is defenseless. Just read Proverbs 7:13-20 to see what this woman says and does with her lips to earn the name she is given. This woman has no moral compass. She has endulged in promiscuity for so long that she doesn’t even have a conscience about this kind of stuff anymore. And while all of this accurately describes the immoral woman, allow me to help you visualize what she looks like. It might surprise you.
Certainly women that work in gentlemen’s clubs and the like are immoral women. There’s no doubt about that. No one has trouble identifying those women. Growing up, I always thought of those kind of women whenever I read or heard someone else read about the harlot of Proverbs. Today we call these women prostitutes, hookers, escorts, and other names I won’t mention. But to be sure, these types of women only make up sample of what Solly is talking about. Today millions of young ladies every year graduate from the school of How to Be an Immoral Woman. Classes start in 1st grade and extend through high school. The main curriculum is TV, peer pressure, low self esteem, and watching everyone else in society. They usually start clinicals sometime in high school. These women don’t just work in clubs. No. They take your order at McDonalds. They are administrative assistants at the RE/MAX real estate office in town. They workout right next to you at the local Planet Fitness. Some of them sit next to you at church. They are young, old and in between. Hardly any of these women would take money for sexual services; they would even frown and snarl at the very notion. But here’s what they will do for free. They will tell you dirty jokes and stories to see how you respond. They will purposefully wear clothes that accentuate their curves and everything else. They will fill social media with pictures of themselves, pictures that 50 years ago you could only see in a gas station magazine. They will send you pictures of their body. They will test you to see how far you are willing to go in the front seat of your car. And they have no qualms about going to bed or doing other stuff with you before saying, “I do.” This last one has become so socially acceptable among “Christians” today that I recently saw a Christian podcast episode entitled, “Is it a sin to live with your boyfriend or girlfriend?” I thought to myself, “Why is that even a question that deserves one whole hour of discussion?” My point is, the immoral woman of Proverbs is your average woman today. Things could very well have been the same culturally speaking in Solly’s day but especially today. His words could just as well say, “The lips of the average woman drip honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil.” And with this introduction the king goes on to give a solution to his young son about how to interact with this woman.
How the Young Man Should Respond
Solly says to his son, “Remove your way far from her (the immoral woman), and do not go near the door of her house,” (v. 8). You will notice what he DIDN’T say. He didn’t say, “Go ahead and date her. Maybe in the process you can rub off on her and she will change.” Nah dawg. The king who had been with 1,000 women looked his son in the eye and said, “Don’t give that chick a single inch, because fore you know it, she will have you walking with her into the depths of hell,” (v. 5, my translation). I’ve seen it way too much, I’ve even lived it, where a young man thinks he is strong enough to entertain the immoral woman without getting his hands dirty only to find out he was wrong. You’re lying to yourself if you think you are stronger and wiser than Solomon. As I admonished my graduating class in 2011, “Don’t be stupid, cuz that’s stupid.”
The Wrap
Hopefully, I didn’t teach you anything you didn’t know. Sometimes we just need someone to read the word of God and restate it in modern terms. Sometimes we are playing with sin, but we have given reality the run around, so that, when someone reads Proverbs 5 out loud, we say, “I’m good. That ain’t me.” When in fact, it is me. Take a slice of humble pie. No, take two slices. Get fat on humble pie! Stop being Solomon’s fool, and start seeing the spiritual battlefield for what it is. Peter said the devil is lurking about like a roaring lion, but we act like he is a pussy cat. Be wise. Just do it!
Comments
I’m living it also buddy. And like Hosea I pay the price. That price is what finally brought me to my knees. I thank God for it, but I also grumble in my discomfort. A whole lot of hard learning all because I refused to listen to what the Holy Spirit was trying to tell me. If only I knew of the wisdom that comes with being humble.
Author
God bless you in your pursuit of doing His will and resisting the flesh. If you ever need any help or resources, just reach out through the website.
Man, there is an awful lot of blame heaped on “average women” here without even considering male responsibility. Pretty jarring to hear someone label women who work at “gentlemen’s clubs” as immoral while saying nothing whatsoever about the men who frequent these clubs and literally pay them to perform these acts of immorality. Even the euphemism “gentlemen’s clubs” shields them from responsibility and shame.
Disappointing perspective from a pastor.
Author
Mr. Chris, this article is based on Proverbs 5. In Proverbs 5, women are the subject. I agree with you that men bare responsibility. Men will often say, “Women shouldn’t dress like sluts,” and women respond, “Men shouldn’t look!” They’re both right. Women need to control themselves, and men need to control themselves. It’s a “both/and” situation instead of an “either/or.” I don’t disagree with you in this regard. Nonetheless, if you are upset with this article’s approach then you should also have a problem with the whole book of Proverbs and how Solomon approaches the subject of immorality, focusing on immoral “women,” as he talks to his son. In this article I’m talking specifically to young men and how they should be aware about immoral women that fit the description of Proverbs 5. You are free to have your own opinion about the “average women” in our society, but my opinion is that immorality has become the average. It would be just as fair and appropriate to write an article entitled “Identifying the Immoral Man,” but a different text than Proverbs 5 would have to be chosen as the base text. I’m sorry I disappointed you.
This isn’t really about women. Proverbs is trying to change MALE behavior. In other words, don’t cheat on your wives or leave the wives of your youth because you think sex is more exciting with some other woman who doesn’t fear the Lord. And as for the kind of woman portrayed, Jesus was able to engage with women as HUMAN BEINGS instead of sex objects in the way he dealt with the Samaritan woman or woman caught in adultery. OTOH, it was male sexual entitlement that caused a civil war in judges when the Levite sacrificed his concubine, David raped Bathsheba, Amman raped Tamar, and Absalom raped 10 concubines.
Author
I don’t necessarily disagree with your comments. Two things can be true at the same time. Proverbs 7 can be trying to curb MALE behavior based on common promiscuous FEMALE behavior. It’s not necessarily an either/or situation. This article is not suggesting that all sexual sin falls at the feet of women. This article is simply addressing one side of the coin, the fact that there are women who are immoral and promiscuous and whom young men like Solomon’s sons need to be keenly aware of and avoid. The fact that there are such women cannot be avoided from Proverbs 7, though, at the same time, the proverb isn’t suggesting that all women are this way. Nonetheless, they do exist, and young men need to be aware. They also need to be aware that they are responsible for their succumbing to such women, and when the young man commits sexual sin, he is responsible for his sin. That’s another article for another time.
As it is said, the world will be as the time of Noah, giving to the pleasure of the flesh. This country will continue to guzzle up immorality and get drunk on it. But Jesus did promise if you confess your sins he will be faithful and just to forgive you. Where we often fail in being faithful in our Christian walk, God is faithful in the salvation he gave us.
I was trying to find info on the ‘immoral woman’ from a female perspective – kind of a “what not to do” thing – and your article gave a lot of good insight. You’re so right that we mistake this woman for someone working in the sex industry, and forget that she can be the girl-next-door. Poor Solly, indeed. Thank you for your article.
Author
I’m glad it was helpful to you!
How should the husband of this woman live knowing she is immoral?
Author
Jesus said, “But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery” (Matthew 5:32). If the woman you are married to is immoral in the sense that she persists in committing adultery (having sex with other men), then put her away scripturally.