The Sin of Safe Sex

Why I’m Writing This

I was in college the first time I was taught safe sex.  Thankfully, my anatomy & physiology teacher in high school was one of those teachers that would end up on media headlines if he were in a big, inner-city school district: he didn’t advocate safe sex.  A few years later, I was in nursing school, it must have been 2013ish, when my nursing professor asked what we students thought about safe sex.  To be more specific, she asked what we thought of some legislation that was being batted around which would require schools to offer contraceptives to middle school age students.  I thought I misheard her words at first; “Surely my ears betrayed me,” I said to myself.  No.  I heard what I thought I heard.  More alarming was the fact that I was the ONLY person in the entire classroom of 50+ students who had raised eyebrows.  The teacher asked if we agreed with the legislation.  I didn’t want my silence to imply agreement, so I voiced my concern.  It was a no-win situation, one of those where the teacher asks what you think but doesn’t really care what you think kind of scenarios.  And while that was frustrating enough, what really disturbed me was what happened later that day.  I aired out my frustrations with the classroom discussion on Facebook that afternoon; consequently, a brother-in-Christ was shocked at my stance against safe sex advocacy.  Again, my eyebrows were raised.  By the end of the day my eyebrow muscles were jacked!  I wasn’t as surprised that the same people endorsing homosexuality, transgenderism, and live-in relationships would vote that contraceptives be given to middle schoolers.  But I was surprised that a brother-in-Christ who knew his Bible would do the same.  

The experience I just described has never fully left my consciousness.  It’s not like I dwell on those events every day, but any time I am leading a Bible study with young adults and the subject of sexual immorality comes up, I can’t help but mentally teleport back to that day in 2013.  Now, eight years later, I would like to reason with anyone who has eyes and ears, especially parents.  I want to share a biblical treatise against the secular philosophy of safe sex.  So, here it is.

Why Safe Sex Isn’t Safe

There is a place called hell.  I’m sure you have heard of it.  It’s pretty hot.  There is a woman that lives there.  Her name is The Immoral Woman.

   Proverbs 2:16-18

   16 (Wisdom will) deliver you from the immoral woman,
   From the seductress who flatters with her words,
   17 Who forsakes the companion of her youth,
   And forgets the covenant of her God.
   18 For her house leads down to death (hell),
   And her paths to the dead.

The Immoral Woman flatters with her words Solomon says.  She says things like, “If you loved me you would have sex with me,” (Judges 14:16; 16:15).  When her boyfriend starts to voice his concerns about STD’s/STI’s she responds, “Don’t worry, they make condoms for that.”  When her boyfriend starts to voice his concerns about unplanned pregnancy she reassures him by saying, “Don’t worry, I’m on the pill.”  The Immoral Woman lives all over the world, but at least in America she has a school system to help persuade her boyfriend.  The teachers in this school system tell her boyfriend, “We know you are going to have sex.  And since you’re going to do it, you need to know what these are (the teacher points to a condom).”  Everyone the boyfriend hears is telling him, “We know you are going to have sex…”  They are telling him he doesn’t have to worry about nasty diseases or unwelcomed babies.  He then looks up at his girlfriend The Immoral Woman and “(Her) lips…drip honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil” (Proverbs 5:3); she catches him and kisses him (7:13).  He has strong urges that everyone is telling him he can’t control, and so instead of removing his way far from her and not going near the door of her house (5:8), he decides safe sex is a pretty good idea.  While everything sounds fine, what he doesn’t feel is the arrow that has “struck his liver” (7:23).  What he didn’t consider is that this experiment with safe sex “would cost his life,” (7:23).  These are the things that safe sex advocates are not teaching their young adult audience.  And while I don’t expect Professor X to be quoting Proverbs, I do expect something more reminiscent of King Solomon from God’s people. 

Safe Sins

Now, the Christian parent that is promoting safe sex responds to what has been written so far and says, “I’m not promoting young people to have sex before marriage!  But they are going to do it, and if they are going to do it, then it is reckless to not teach them about safe sex.”  This is not an uncommon response.  Starting off by agreeing that sex before marriage is sinful makes the response sound fine and dandy.  However, to implicitly agree that sex before marriage is sinful (i.e., “I’m not promoting sex before marriage”) and then coach someone how to sin safely is hypocritical at best.  Imagine coaching young people, or anyone for that matter, about other sins the same way.

• I’m not promoting that you curse, but I know you are going to do it, so please just don’t take Jesus’ name in vain, and use euphemisms as much as possible.
• I’m not promoting you drink alcohol, but I know you are going to do it, so please make sure you have a designated driver.  This is actually a very common response.
• I’m not promoting you gossip, but I know you are going to do it, so please just make sure you don’t share any information that’s going to hurt anyone super bad.
• I’m not promoting lying, but I know you are going to do it, so please just make sure they are white lies only.
• I’m not promoting violence, but I know you are going to do it, so please just make sure you only fight when you are in the right.  

We could keep on going with quote, unquote safe sins, but all said and done, sin is sin.  There is no way to sin safely.  There is no way to encourage someone to sin and remain somehow innocent in Switzerland.  When you encourage anyone to be “safe” when they sin, you are inevitably an accomplice in that sin.  You can say all you want that you don’t condone the sin but so did Pontius Pilate.  Matthew said, “When Pilate saw that he could not prevail at all (i.e., they were going to do it anyway), but rather that a tumult was rising, he took water and washed his hands before the multitude, saying, ‘I am innocent of the blood of this just Person. You see to it,'” (27:24).  Pilate was still guilty of the blood of Christ no matter how hard he scrubbed his hands.  Teaching safe sex and then washing your hands clean of the sin is no different.

Conclusion

There is only one biblical answer for the young man/woman in the sex education class, “Remove your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house,” (Proverbs 5:8).  Proverbs is the best sex ed curriculum, and what Proverbs never teaches is safe sex.  In fact, there is nowhere in the Bible a Christian can turn for a safe sex curriculum.  You will notice that people who advocate safe sex do not reason from God’s word and wisdom but from human wisdom.  I don’t want young people to acquire potentially life altering STD’s anymore than you do.  I don’t want young girls to become teen moms anymore than you do.  However, the answer is not to teach safe sex.  Here is what you can do.  

1) Set high expectations.  If young people hear frequently enough, “They’re gonna do it anyway,” they will start to believe this, and they will start do it anyway, no doubt.  

2) Be plain. Plainly tell young people about the physical consequences of pre-marital sex.  Don’t beat around the bush.  

3) Don’t cave to the culture.  Culture will laugh at you for insisting that abstinence is the only answer.  Abstinence is so old-fashioned and ineffective culture says.  Just remember, this is the same culture that says a man is a woman if he thinks he is a woman.  Instead, trust God and don’t lean on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5). 

4) Pray.  Pray for the young person(s) in your sphere of influence.  Pray that they heed your godly advice.  Pray that the words of Solomon sink in and strike a cord with them.  

I hope this encourages you to trust God and His word on the subject of sex education.